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     TAMMY’s WORDS of WISDOM

 

Copyright:      Tammy Etheridge
 

 
I think our society has a lot of potential, but I don't think we are in a  spiritual, healthy, loving age right now. So until humanity learns to love one another, there is no reason to get complacent.
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Marriage is not a toy. People seem to think it’s like a fancy toy that you can buy and play with and use and then discard when you’ve outgrown it and you’ve started to change. That’s not marriage. That’s not what it is. 
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We have to trust that we are exactly where we need to be.
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And to your question: Am I always this PC? Uh, fuck no. 
The closet is a heavy burden on the soul, period. You get two people in that, and it’s too dark – you can’t even see ‘em. 
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When cancer hits a family, if you can, you look at it as one of God’s golden blessings. It really clarifies unconditional love. It really clarifies what marriage is about. I know there are so many people uncomfortable with gay marriage, but marriage is just not gay sex. Its also holding your wife’s bald head over the toilet when she is going through chemotherapy and vomiting 40 times a day. That is what true love is. 

My marriage is stronger now than it ever was. I feel much more confident as a partner. It really makes you prioritize the things in your life and know who is important. You learn to really cut out the BS. Life is short, so you don’t mess around with the BS.  

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 - it’s the most vulnerable, fragile state of the soul, to just be in existence in a body that’s a mess. And Melissa, I feel, handed me her body throughout chemotherapy, and I just took care of it. Because you know what? I know that if I ever go through anything, if I ever need Melissa, she would do that for me. No hesitation, no question. 
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Melissa and I are still counting the blessings that have actually come through this experience. It was the wackiest, most thorough cleaning of our lives, we’ve ever had, but such a blessing. Such a blessing, I’m telling you. If anybody you ever love gets diagnosed with cancer, (a) they’re going to be fine, and (b) there’s a wonderful lesson in there for that person and maybe for you too. I’m telling you right now. It’s amazing.
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I was able to gain two delightful little souls through my marriage. Two  little, growing kids need a lot of love, and when one of the caregivers is away, they need extra nourishment. The universe doesn’t give me more than I can handle. 
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I had some amazing teachers. A teacher can make an extra remark and brighten a life, or make a remark and really slice a student in half. They need to acknowledge the power they have. 
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I think education is important. Education beyond high school. I can’t tell you how much I learned in the first year, the first 365 days that I lived outside Lafayette, Ind. That was education – the education when you go to a big town and you see different people making different choices and leading very successful lives, not at all looking anything like yours. But they’re still good people. 
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On the gay civil rights issues: 

How long did it take them to apologize to Galileo? I just keep going, Rosa Parks didn’t give up her seat and Galileo got the apology. We’re going to be fine.

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The spiritual side of me would like to think that you fall in love with  whomever you are meant to be with ----- the inner beauty. You should fall in love with what’s inside and then find a way to make love to the  outside. 
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Read other Bibles, other religions, everybody says the same thing………….. 
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If I bang my head on a brick wall five times and get five lumps, why am I surprised if I bang it a sixth time and get a sixth lump 
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First thing I utilized when I realized I had common sense is when something stinks don't smell it. Walk away. 
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Sometimes it seems life is about waiting, but now I know it's not. It is only in the waiting that we can learn the lesson. And perhaps "waiting" (as we humans so selfishly think of patience) is really the Universe getting our next lesson lined up.
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Happiness is a choice....
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TAMMY’s wonderful advice on alleviating the harsh side effects of chemeotherapy and why she wants everyone to have this information:
 

When someone we know is diagnosed, I put together a "chemo care package".

 

In it, I place the things that will most help during chemo, in addition to some helpful hints on how

to cope during chemo...

 

You can make your own, too.

 

Here's some of what goes into the packages:

 

*    lemons- real, not just juice
*    apple cider vinegar
*    canola oil
*    sea salt, never "treated" with chemicals
*    a chart of alkaline/acid foods
*    the book "Alkalize or Die"
*    a mix of baking soda and salt that you use to rinse your mouth out to avoid mouth

      sores, with instructions for how to make more when you run out

 

*    Hints like:

      don't eat your favorite food the night before chemo- you'll barf it all up, and your body

      will forever remember that you got "SO SICK" last time you ate XYZ... and then you'll

      never want XYZ agan. This sounds silly, but it's really a big deal to some patients.

*    Agave Nectar
*    pure shea butter for the dry, chapped skin and lips

When Melissa was finally done with chemo and we were working our way out of that

hell, I realized that there must be so many people who get scared when their loved one

is diagnosed, and they don't know what to do.

 

So I am hoping that by reaching out to the loved ones with the diagnosis, I can help others

in a way that no one knew to help me. I didn't even know how to ask for help, what I

needed help with, etc. Just my way of trying to put some love in the world.


 

Tammy posted this information in the Forum on www.tlmzone.com and graciously permitted that

it be re-published here on Tammy's Page as well.